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THOMAS JOSEPH

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Blog Entries posted by THOMAS JOSEPH

  1. THOMAS JOSEPH
    As a child, I loved the Cowardly Lion's "If I Were King" number in The Wizard of Oz. It wasn't only Bert Lahr's iconic emoting, but the idea of being so wonderfully and totally in charge, setting things right with the wave of a regal hand. Of course, such ruminations are fanciful. Not.  I want to pontificate on the changes I would implement as Commissioner of Baseball. Moreover, since this is my fantasy article, there are no MLBPA, CBA, umpires' union, owner, or legal obstacles to my will. Boom.
     
    Here are my ten edicts as King Commissioner - to be promulgated immediately:
    1) No jewelry of any kind is allowed on the field. That means no earrings, chains, baubles, bling, whatever. A single ring may be worn - wedding or otherwise. Somehow (somehow!) players must find a way to work for a few hours without this accouterment. Oh, the horror! 2) Only clothing and devices that align with official team colors may be worn on the field. Yeah, cleats/shoes, headbands, pads, "oven mitts," everything except gloves, which may be brown or black, regardless of official team colors.  3) Hair may not obstruct the player or coach's name on the back of uniforms. Figure it out or cut it. 4) All advertising is hereby banned from uniforms, helmets, devices, etc., and monies obtained for said advertising must be refunded (pro-rata). Soccer sucks and I don't want our uniforms to look like an airline playing a crypto dealer.  5) Any person assigned a uniform number must wear the team uniform jersey with that number during games, matching the players on the field.  If desired, a team-approved jacket may be worn over the uniform jersey. No hoodies, t-shirts, or other gear may be worn during a game/in the dugout by any personnel with an assigned number. 6) Standard sanitary hose with stirrups must be worn by all personnel with an assigned uniform number.  Socks must be between 12" and 18" from the shoe tops with a minimum of 3" of top stirrup color showing. Uniform pants must extend to the top of the socks. Too much? Aww. 7) StatCast ABS systems currently installed in stadiums will replace the ball and strike calls, effective immediately. Home plate umpires receive the strike notification signal and pass it on to the field of play. There are no challenges to the system. 8) The Designated Hitter rule is hereby suspended, and traditional rules are reinstated immediately. Pitchers will hit or be pinch-hit for. Sorry, old guys.  9) Head-first slides are banned, effective immediately. 10) Any team playing the Dodgers starts the game with two additional runs, applied in the first inning - just because I said so. Other teams may be added at the Commissioner's discretion. It's kinda like polo. Innovation, innovation! 11) I know I said ten, but I want another. The CBT is hereby tripled, effective immediately, with no "grandfathering."  Aww, sorry, you big spenders, you.  If you disagree, write your own blog article!  LOL. 
    So let it be written, so let it be done. (Sorry. Wrong movie.) 
  2. THOMAS JOSEPH
    I am not sweating the managerial situation. It's far less important than other moves in the scheme of things. I suppose keeping someone around, continuity, has some merit. But let's not act as if there is a need to genuflect to the Tom Kellys of the world, as much as I liked Tom. More power to them and their organizations. But, to steal a line from Men in Black, that means exactly what to me? 
    We've already seen the obligatory "Roberts does not get enough credit" blather. He's a magician who somehow (somehow!) kept all the egos in check long enough and overcame injuries (he had the only team that had injuries, of course) to win it all! Pay no attention to the $400 million payroll, or whatever it was. The mantra is par for the course from the tiresome parrots in mainstream baseball and want-to-be-relevant YouTubers. Had the Yankees won, of course, Boone would be the vindicated, misunderstood genius browbeaten by the unforgiving New York fans. The parrots: I told you so! I told you so! Boone will win! Boone will win! Put Roberts (or Boone) with the Pirates, Marlins, or Giants and see how it goes. No calls for the Hall of Fame then, I bet. So tiresome and so predictable. 
    Luckily, the ubiquitous managerial carousel allows the middling guys who win tons regular season games to hang around long enough to get the "great" moniker. Great for attendance and fan interaction, which are legitimate value propositions, sure, I acknowledge it. But no one, and I mean no one, is satisfied with that, nor lots of division titles, for that matter. These are steppingstones to on-field success or they're balm for fans. Alternatively, why not just supply $350+ million payrolls for a decade until we get the proverbial blind squirrel outcome (or there's a surreal, unattended, contrived pandemic "tournament" we can masquerade as legitimate - we make the damn rules, you peasants)? 
    Consider the handwringing, for example, that occurred when the Cubs ridiculously overpaid Craig Counsell, The Brewers are lost! The Brewers are lost! Maybe the Cubs will win a few World Series in the Counsell era. (Cough.) Yes, there are (apparent) exceptions, like Bruce Bochy, who seems to have the magic touch. Guys like Baker and Showalter and Cox, et al., lose and lose in the playoffs until they finally win after thirty years (it's a crapshoot, after all), and the drumbeating for the Hall of Fame begins because, well...they won a lot of regular season games, darn it! Fine fellows, all, I am sure. All those playoff losses, again and again, are just bad luck (no, it's a crapshoot). Otherwise, why would so many teams continue to lazily pick from the managerial carousel? We're the damn experts here and we prove it by recycling these guys who get really close! We had four numbers on the Powerball - we're close, I tell you! It's a modern Gnosticism in action. The secret knowledge of Magus Counsell or Magus Baker will take us to the promised land!
    Even losers, when it suits the parrots, get the mantra that overrides the so-called meritocracy of baseball. Michael Kay can howl all he wants about how there's no one better to replace Boone. It's foolish to blame him, blah, blah. He got them to the World Series! Who would dare question his value? Only the Neanderthals who buy the tickets, merchandise, and subscriptions. Idiots! Don't they know we know how much the clubhouse loves Boone? New York is a tough place! New York is a tough place! If he can make it there... But he didn't make it, again. Cashman and Boone! Continuity! We are the Yankees, listen to us!
    So, as counterintuitive as baseball often turns out (or because it's a crapshoot), the late- and/or third-choice managerial selection of the Marlins will be perfectly suitable. And, may I add, a whole lot cheaper than Counsell (genuflect). 
  3. THOMAS JOSEPH
    Let me say, quite honestly, that I struggle mightily with sarcasm. I don't want to be sarcastic, but the world provides too much low-hanging fruit. The temptation is not fair, and (outside of the cesspool of American politics) nowhere is that fruit lower than MLB. The most recent bushel of free fruit for me is the Jason Stark and Eno Sarris article in "The Athletic" (June 21, 2024) with the headline: "MLB offense is nearing all-time lows." Yes, Virginia, it is true. Despite all the offense-minded tinkering, the best-in-the-world hitters have a collective slash line of .241/.311/.390. The trend lines for the 2024 season indicate 1400 fewer hits, 1300 fewer runs, 800 fewer home runs, and 600 fewer doubles. You cannot be serious. Suffice it to say that the new rules are not transforming the game offensively, although the mediocrity is much faster! Yes!
    Starting with lowering the mound and the DH, MLB wanted/wants offensive improvements at almost any cost. Well, not PEDs, but almost any other cost. The problem is, of course, they forgot to tell or throttle the pitchers. You know, the pitchers that are dropping like flies from elbow and shoulder issues. Those guys of the prevailing litany that there is a shortage, the "injuries can't continue like this," and that a dozen or so superstar hitters are worth $350 million a season. And then, there is Ohtani and Soto. I know, thirteen-year contracts will do the trick! We can't have expansion with this dearth of pitching! Dilution! Dilution!
    Sorry about the sarcasm. Not. 
    So, as usual, what are the real issues? Sigh. Let me intone the mantra: hitting a baseball is very hard (oh, most certainly), pitching training/kinesiology has exploded, hitting improves when it gets hot, blah, blah. Probably all true, but my why-hitting-sucks list is much duller and quite typically Boomer. Oh, no, gramps! Read it and weep, young whippersnappers:
    Lazy, uncoachable players - What did you say? I'm busy thinking about my stock portfolio, endorsements, and after-game conquests.  No interest in situational hitting - My home run numbers are my meal ticket. I ain't hitting the ball to the right side. Laughable fundamentals - Bunt? What the hell is that? I don't wear all this jewelry to bunt! Lack of aggressiveness - Hey, I want to watch that homer...oops...it's in play, so I better run! Management/Coaching failures - They didn't learn that in the minors? Oh. Well, I can't disrespect a guy up here now.  I could be wrong. As the "Animal House" line goes, "Well, sir, we're hoping that our midterm grades will really help our average."  Sure, they will. 
  4. THOMAS JOSEPH

    That one hurts.

    By THOMAS JOSEPH,


    Rants
    Look, blowing a seven-run lead is rare, but losing the game, to boot, truly hurts. Remember the 20th win in a row for the Oakland A's as depicted in "Moneyball?" The Royals stormed back from a huge deficit. Of course, Hatteberg's home run walks it off, and all is well - the win and the streak are saved. The Marlins loss to the Nationals on Sunday had no such happy ending. The team now owns the worst record in baseball. Peter Bendix is swimming against a tide of fan despair and anger.  We fans cannot see the entire picture - finances, internal discussions, expectations, and anticipated timelines are all unavailable. While I suspect the brain trust is honestly surprised at this level of ineptitude, they certainly WANT to win and draw fine crowds. Wags counter that these two obvious things are pollyannish or delusional. OK, fair enough. Win with these players? Ask people to attend games to see such a poor team, at an inconvenient ballpark, on top of past spurious situations? 
    However, we must take a step back. For our mental health and because, well, it's only baseball and not life and death. I read several posts on "X" that call the year a total loss. Even if that is so, the season is qualified to be the often-rough start to important, systemic changes. It's a purge of our baseball system. We know the scouting and developmental foundation of the franchise must be amended. Low-income franchises must excel in this area to attain long-term competitiveness. We can look to the Orioles and Astros for comfort (or my oft-referenced Montreal Expos developmental prowess, starting from dead scratch as an expansion team in 1969).  We simply must acknowledge those teams' agonizing seasons as a component - medicine, so to speak - that has led to amazing success (Astros) and a current robust, young, exciting team (Orioles). Yet, it is important to realize those teams did/do not face the challenges the Marlins have when it comes to payroll limitations. 
    Bendix is fighting a two-front war without the support of the civilian population (sorry for the martial metaphor). Perhaps (continuing with the metaphor), he will be our George Washington - losing many battles, but staying true to the disciplined plan, gaining strength, and prevailing.  If history, much less baseball history, reveals anything, it is that "hopeless" situations turn around and groups rise again. The Dodgers could spend their $3 billion in the next five years (to go along with the billions already spent in the Roberts era) and have only the pathetic 2020 fishbowl "championship" to show for it. Nothing is guaranteed. Atlanta won only one World Series in their dominating decade of the 1990s.
    David Samson is right (cringe) when he states that he would rather have two championships in thirty years and stink for the other twenty-eight years than be "competitive" throughout and win nothing. No fan is truly happy being "competitive," or winning regular season games. Ask the Dodger fans if they would trade their great regular seasons. No one cares. Similarly, like Sunday's game, it hurts a lot more to lose that one than a 10-2 drubbing ever will. Yes, I realize the new playoff system is the impetus for a "just get in" mentality. That is smart and realistic - sorry. It will be the ticket for the Marlins again, as well. 
    So, while we are rightly frustrated, embarrassed, and ticked off, let's give Bendix a chance. When the team wins number three, it will be incredibly sweet. Wouldn't it be fantastic if the Marlins won number three before the Dodgers, Braves, or Yankees won it all again?  Oops!
  5. THOMAS JOSEPH
    (Another archived rant that I wrote a while back.)
    The oddness that was the 2020 season? Sixty games, ever-changing rules, no fans, neutral sites, and on and on with the inane pile emanating from that entire year of dog crap. I put no stock in any of it, including the so-called World Championship, which is a disgraceful doppelganger of real championship seasons. MLB should be embarrassed that they rammed through that makeshift crap. Of course, the owners are hardly guardians of the game's integrity. This is so only to the extent it affects business, which is not unreasonable per se. So, telling us moon-eyed, drooling fans that this disgrace of a season is equal to the other real seasons dilutes the value of the so-called World Championship. Thankfully, the Dodgers "won," and not the Marlins. Imagine the howls and gnashing of teeth had the Marlins won their THIRD championship since the last Dodger title in 1988. Oops! Since LA won, it is, certainly, legitimate. Sure, it is. MLB's pathetic owners are never done with their sullying of the National Pastime. That's the one area in which our current crop of POS owners excels! Accordingly, look for more uniform ad patches, including a brand name across the asses of players, and lots more gimmicky rule changes. We must change with the times, right? 
  6. THOMAS JOSEPH
    (Putting my Marlins and general baseball comments/rants here to get my new blog started. Here is one of 'em.)
    Of course, Greg Maddux, Gaylord Perry, and Bert Blyleven would be slaughtered if they pitched in today's game. They didn't throw 97 mph. Pretenders! Then, the endlessly parroted gibberish goes like this: Starters don't go deep into games anymore. Those short starts add up and diminish the bullpen over the season. But we can't allow starters to go into the dreaded third time through the order, heaven forbid.! Baseball's league average over the years is ridiculously tepid, even after/with the "savior element" (the DH). Still, six innings is a quality start, and we should be so elated if there is one. Who can ask for any more than that for a guy making $25M to do so every five days? Luckily, though, the games are shorter, we monitor "disengagements," and have all sorts of cool video-game-esque stats on the screen to watch in between the pitch clock resets. Oh, and Jazz is on the cover of a video game, so he is awesome, dude (in the one-half of our games that he plays)! 


  7. THOMAS JOSEPH
    (Another beautiful rant from a bit ago.)
    I agree that Miguel Cabrera has a HOF career resume. Moreover, Marlins fans identify him with their World Championship. But we need to be very real about the unmitigated disaster that his 8-year extension has been. The first year, 2016, was excellent (with a 7.4 WARP) and this would have been the time to move him at his peak value point, setting up the team’s future. Instead, the next seven years, SEVEN, are horrific by consuming a huge percentage of the team’s payroll in one ineffective player and taking up a valuable roster spot. Cabrera SEVEN-YEAR WARP from 2017 to 2023 is 5.1 (less than 0.75/year) at the cost of $216 million! That’s over $43 million for each win above replacement over the last seven years. Forty-three million dollars per over replacement win. Perhaps only Strasburg’s contract is arguably worse in the entire history of baseball. So, this future HOFer leaves the scene with the last SEVEN years of his career as an utter failure, not just mediocrity.  
    Joey Votto, another player who may have a HOF case, is another unmitigated disaster for his Reds team. Votto’s ridiculously unwise extension, where he, too, should have been moved at a peak value registers a 7.4 WAR for the last SIX YEARS at a cost of over $150 million (1.23/year over that stretch). Perhaps more than Detroit, Votto’s anemic production has hamstrung his team, effectively flushing those years during which his salary was a preposterous percentage of their total payroll. Votto’s last six-year legacy is $20 million per over replacement wins. Twenty million dollars. Even the New York Mets are paying less than $1.9 million per win in this, their very disappointing season.  
    Can anyone argue that these two men did not hamstring their clubs for six or seven seasons? Even if we remove the 2020 season from the equations, there is no redeeming quality. Fans may perceive a future HOF enshrinement as a combination of tangible (team loyalty, merchandise, etc.) and intangible (team reputation, pride, legacy) value. Make no mistake, however, if forced to tell the truth, both teams and their owners would gladly turn the clock back, make a trade, or forego the respective extensions altogether, if they had the chance. Seeing these men enter the HOF with another cap would be just fine when balanced against over $357 million, wasted seasons, and missed opportunities. 

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