Let me say, quite honestly, that I struggle mightily with sarcasm. I don't want to be sarcastic, but the world provides too much low-hanging fruit. The temptation is not fair, and (outside of the cesspool of American politics) nowhere is that fruit lower than MLB. The most recent bushel of free fruit for me is the Jason Stark and Eno Sarris article in "The Athletic" (June 21, 2024) with the headline: "MLB offense is nearing all-time lows." Yes, Virginia, it is true. Despite all the offense-minded tinkering, the best-in-the-world hitters have a collective slash line of .241/.311/.390. The trend lines for the 2024 season indicate 1400 fewer hits, 1300 fewer runs, 800 fewer home runs, and 600 fewer doubles. You cannot be serious. Suffice it to say that the new rules are not transforming the game offensively, although the mediocrity is much faster! Yes!

Starting with lowering the mound and the DH, MLB wanted/wants offensive improvements at almost any cost. Well, not PEDs, but almost any other cost. The problem is, of course, they forgot to tell or throttle the pitchers. You know, the pitchers that are dropping like flies from elbow and shoulder issues. Those guys of the prevailing litany that there is a shortage, the "injuries can't continue like this," and that a dozen or so superstar hitters are worth $350 million a season. And then, there is Ohtani and Soto. I know, thirteen-year contracts will do the trick! We can't have expansion with this dearth of pitching! Dilution! Dilution!

Sorry about the sarcasm. Not. 

So, as usual, what are the real issues? Sigh. Let me intone the mantra: hitting a baseball is very hard (oh, most certainly), pitching training/kinesiology has exploded, hitting improves when it gets hot, blah, blah. Probably all true, but my why-hitting-sucks list is much duller and quite typically Boomer. Oh, no, gramps! Read it and weep, young whippersnappers:

• Lazy, uncoachable players - What did you say? I'm busy thinking about my stock portfolio, endorsements, and after-game conquests. 
• No interest in situational hitting - My home run numbers are my meal ticket. I ain't hitting the ball to the right side.
• Laughable fundamentals - Bunt? What the hell is that? I don't wear all this jewelry to bunt!
• Lack of aggressiveness - Hey, I want to watch that homer...oops...it's in play, so I better run!
• Management/Coaching failures - They didn't learn that in the minors? Oh. Well, I can't disrespect a guy up here now. 

I could be wrong. As the "Animal House" line goes, "Well, sir, we're hoping that our midterm grades will really help our average."  Sure, they will.