As a child, I loved the Cowardly Lion's "If I Were King" number in The Wizard of Oz. It wasn't only Bert Lahr's iconic emoting, but the idea of being so wonderfully and totally in charge, setting things right with the wave of a regal hand. Of course, such ruminations are fanciful. Not.  I want to pontificate on the changes I would implement as Commissioner of Baseball. Moreover, since this is my fantasy article, there are no MLBPA, CBA, umpires' union, owner, or legal obstacles to my will. Boom.

Here are my ten edicts as King Commissioner - to be promulgated immediately:

• 1) No jewelry of any kind is allowed on the field. That means no earrings, chains, baubles, bling, whatever. A single ring may be worn - wedding or otherwise. Somehow (somehow!) players must find a way to work for a few hours without this accouterment. Oh, the horror!
• 2) Only clothing and devices that align with official team colors may be worn on the field. Yeah, cleats/shoes, headbands, pads, "oven mitts," everything except gloves, which may be brown or black, regardless of official team colors. 
• 3) Hair may not obstruct the player or coach's name on the back of uniforms. Figure it out or cut it.
• 4) All advertising is hereby banned from uniforms, helmets, devices, etc., and monies obtained for said advertising must be refunded (pro-rata). Soccer sucks and I don't want our uniforms to look like an airline playing a crypto dealer. 
• 5) Any person assigned a uniform number must wear the team uniform jersey with that number during games, matching the players on the field.  If desired, a team-approved jacket may be worn over the uniform jersey. No hoodies, t-shirts, or other gear may be worn during a game/in the dugout by any personnel with an assigned number.
• 6) Standard sanitary hose with stirrups must be worn by all personnel with an assigned uniform number.  Socks must be between 12" and 18" from the shoe tops with a minimum of 3" of top stirrup color showing. Uniform pants must extend to the top of the socks. Too much? Aww.
• 7) StatCast ABS systems currently installed in stadiums will replace the ball and strike calls, effective immediately. Home plate umpires receive the strike notification signal and pass it on to the field of play. There are no challenges to the system.
• 8) The Designated Hitter rule is hereby suspended, and traditional rules are reinstated immediately. Pitchers will hit or be pinch-hit for. Sorry, old guys. 
• 9) Head-first slides are banned, effective immediately.
• 10) Any team playing the Dodgers starts the game with two additional runs, applied in the first inning - just because I said so. Other teams may be added at the Commissioner's discretion. It's kinda like polo. Innovation, innovation!
• 11) I know I said ten, but I want another. The CBT is hereby tripled, effective immediately, with no "grandfathering."  Aww, sorry, you big spenders, you. 

If you disagree, write your own blog article!  LOL. 

So let it be written, so let it be done. (Sorry. Wrong movie.)